Thursday, April 14, 2005

I watch TV so you don't have to

Reader service #1, I watch plenty of TV and can fill you in on what you need to know. For example, were you aware that tonight was the pilot of Stacked, the new bookstore sitcom starring Pamela Anderson? I was going to be on that channel anyway for the Idol results show, so I watched it. And—because I'm such a splendid wife—I TiVoed it in case Mr. Tangerine wishes to view it. Here are my thoughts on the show.

Premise: Skyler (played by Pam) goes to a bookstore to find a relationship self-help book so she can stop dating bad boys. The store is run by two brothers, one a geeky, unsuccessful, and divorced (from Paget Brewster) novelist and one a chubby would-be horndog. Marissa Jaret Winokur, who was in Hairspray on Broadway, works at the coffee counter. Christopher Lloyd plays yet another quirky character (oy), this time a retired physics professor. The brothers hire Skyler to do an undetermined job at the bookshop.

Script Highlight: Shout-out to Sense and Sensibility as a sop to literature fans. And one instance of Skyler scoring an apt rhetorical point on the novelist.

Visual Highlight: Pamela Anderson's torso is usually visible when she's on screen. Low-cut top reveals her prodigious bosom, which really is a sight to behold.

Upshot: Ordinary, hackneyed sitcom has little to offer that's fresh other than Pamela Anderson's impressive bustline. Will that be enough to save this show?

This evening, I also watched last week's Lost on TiVo. I don't think there's another show that offers so much beefcake. I can't even pick a favorite piece of eye candy. Contenders include Jin, Sawyer, Jack, and Sayid; the late Boone (killed off in last week's episode) sure had purty eyes. What happens when their clothes start wearing out next season? Will they all be half-naked?

Tonight's viewing schedule now continues with Idol. Will Scott be voted off? Please, oh, please?

Idol Update: What?!? Scott will return again next week, but Nadia's off the show? Who are the people who keep voting for Scott? At least he's in the bottom two for the second week straight, and at least Vonzell boosted herself out of the bottom three. It's surprising that Bo Bice was in the bottom three, too. I hope he stays in for several more weeks because I like to pronounce his name as if it were Italian. Say it with me: Bo Bee-chay. Molto bene, Bo Bice!


JT said...

I watched Stacked too. I'm glad nobody was here to see me watching it. I was kind of rooting for them, if only because Marissa Jaret Winokur is so cool. But yeah, it was really a showplace for Pamela Anderson's way-too-tanned torso.

Seriously. Doesn't she just look kind of grimy?

JT said...

Just read your SOS and didn't want to leave ya hanging. This sure ain't deep, but at least the blogular grammar is less glaringly awful.

Anonymous said...

Re: Nadia:

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I knew it was a bad sign that I got through so easily when I multi-voted for her. The show will not be the same without her voice. :-(

Scott is not only a cockroach, he's a cockroach with galvanized stainless steel for body armor. As Television Without Pity would say, "HAAAAAAAAAATE!"

Orange said...

jt, at least Pamela isn't Botoxing. She had lines in her forehead (made Mr. Tangerine say she looked old—between the furrowed brow and the leathery skin, that is).

Stella, did you know that you, too, can look like Scott? It's easy. Just pull the base of your nose up so you look like a cross between a rabbit, pig, and baby-mama-beater.

Anonymous said...

I'd have to get huge amounts of fat injected into my cheeks and neck for that trick to work. :-P

Sergei C. said...

Thank you for being a smart person who isn't afraid to admit that she watches TV. I'm sick to fucking death of people telling me that TV will make me and my family stupid. Maybe I dodged a bullet, but I'm not drooling in the dirt yet, nor are my very intelligent children both of whom read every day AND watch a couple of hours of TV most every day.

Orange said...

Sergei, I watched A LOT of television during my formative years. I remember junior high. I'd get home from school around 2:00, watch 90 minutes of soap operas. Then a little something before the local news, then the local news right up to prime time, three hours of prime time, and the local news at 10. Then maybe a little Johnny Carson before bed. Somewhere in there I did my homework, and I read all the time. Except for gym, I earned a lot of A's.

They say kids aren't supposed to watch much TV, but look at the idiomatic language Ben is picking up from SpongeBob. It's definitely more entertaining than another hundred go-rounds of Hot Wheels/"now this car is going in the parking lot."

My late dad used to claim that he only watched PBS and the Discovery and History channels. Snort. And "Cops" on Fox. That one was probably his favorite, but he knew better than to talk about it.

The Un-Apologetic Atheist said...

I don't watch much TV but I can't contribute much to your blog 'till you stop discussing shows like Idol.

I promise, when you're on topics that don't involve cathode ray tubes, I'll be back and waist-deep! :D

Orange said...

UA: Similarly, I haven't got much to contribute on the topic of polyamory. Chacun a son gout.

thenutfantastic said...

Touche Orange and great response! To each their own choices in blogs I guess.

I have the problem where I want to watch more tv but these damnable research papers keep stopping me.

That new show that premiered last night on NBC, Revelations, is really pretty decent. I'm all about showcasing the Catholic faith in there ever present alternative beliefs. Medium is also good and these are my 'have to watch' shows regardless.

flea said...

I watched Stacked too, and wished I hadn't. Comedy is not easy to do, and she just isn't a good enough actor to pull it off. All of her punchlines were delivered with a subtext of "Look! I'm saying something FUNNY!" and as a result, it fell flat.

The Un-Apologetic Atheist said...

Yeah, point taken... but I've also been ranting about Republcians the past few days, y'know. Not that that's much of a change for me.

In other news, despite our policy of polyamory, I find myself unusually disturbed to have discovered last night that my girlfriend of 3+ years has been engaging in highly erotic correspondence with her ex-boyfriend (the one just before me, as it turns out) for the duration of our relationship-- even before we were PA. I'm just not sure how to feel about it, or why I feel so violated... I don't care who she sleeps with-- but somehow this feels like a betrayal, even if I can't pin it down. If she wasn't so busy, I'd ask Bitch, PhD... she's a more experienced polyamour. *sigh*

Anyway enough personal life here. Just thought maybe a smart stranger could offer some insight.

Orange said...

UA, monogamy may have its limitations, but it sure is simple! Monogamy offers the clarity of both parties typically knowing that intimate conversations, making out, and sex are to be exclusive between them. I don't know how you nonmonogamous folks handle the complexity of it all, honestly. No helpful insights here.

Charlie said...

Do you happen to have any tips on how I could catch up with Lost? I caught one episode, and it's certainly the kind of show I'd love. But I want to watch from the beginning. Is it available on DVD?

Orange said...

Charlie, you can hope for traditional summer reruns, but the networks are getting away from that now. I'm guessing the first-season DVD will be out before the next season starts (but after the first season has ended, or else how are they gonna make a first-season DVD?).