Wednesday, January 02, 2008

New Year's Day fashion roundup

Last night, 7-year-old Ben managed to stay up until midnight to ring in the new year. I wasn't sure he could do it, but I should've known a kid that stubborn would manage it. (Hey, look‚ a could, should, and would in one sentence!)

With a coupla glasses of prosecco (for me, not the kid), the hours flew by. Helpful hint: If cheap sparkling wine explodes a headache into your cranium in short order, try better champagne. If that still hurts your head, try the lovely Italian sparking wine, prosecco. Sure, it's supposed to be for summertime sipping and not New Year's Eve toasting, but I've had it the last two New Years and it is tipsy-making without being headache-ogenic.

The title of this post promised you fashion, and fashion you shall have. Alas, I have no photographs, because (a) it would have been rude to take pictures of strangers with my cell phone, and (b) I was far too busy gaping to be taking pictures.

I had a late breakfast at IHOP with my friend Kristin this morning. En route to and from IHOP as well as inside the restaurant, we saw many 20-somethings out and about. Usually a crowded IHOP means a little of everyone—some young adults, some families, some old folks, some medium-aged adults. Today, it meant a crapload of 20-somethings out after a festive New Year's Eve. The taxonomy of the young women can be broken down thus:

  • Womanus normalus: Clad in weather-appropriate attire, able to navigate a four-inch snowfall and a wind chill factor in the teens.
  • Chica festiva: Sporting a short skirt or dress, small jacket, optional pantyhose, and high-heeled shoes. Biologists suspect that Chica festiva has a predilection for nesting in unfamiliar locations after extended exposure to intoxicating libations.
  • Pajama domestica: Wears cutesy-print flannel pajamas and walk a couple blocks to Starbucks. The slippers expose Pajama domestica's heels to the wintry air. This species must conserve energy for higher metabolic needs and therefore cannot put on sweats or other pants, much less a pair of shoes, when leaving the apartment.
  • Pajama domestica festiva: This is a hybrid, a cross between the latter two species. This exquisite creature camouflages its brilliant footwear with drab, baggy pajama pants in order to not draw attention from its natural predators. Several plumages are seen in nature: Area scientists have observed the baggy men's pajama shorts/black stilettos combo as well as the more striking long black pajama pants with silver spike-heeled pumps. Pajama domestica festiva is a social animal and travels in small groups of its kind.
(I couldn't make this up if I tried. I'm simply not that inventive.)


Narya said...

Eww. I am glad that the couch prevented me from venturing forth and viewing these specimens--I'm not sure which would have annoyed me more. and I probably would have giggled. (then again, Friend's neighborhood is populated by Polish people and middle-aged people, and these species don't much live in those areas.)

Delia Christina said...

and then there is the chica hungoverus who stays at home in her yoga pants, watching bad tv with her roommate because she, alas, forsook the prosecco and went straight for the hardcore champers.

Orange said...

Chica hungoverus is seldom seen in the wild—naturalists can rarely spot this creature in its lair on account of the deadbolt locks she uses as a natural defense.