Tuesday, February 07, 2006

This 'n' that

Where I live, December was cold. Really cold. As in "one of the coldest Decembers in the past 140 years" cold. But I got used to bundling up any time I left the house and wearing my boots to trudge through the unmelting snow, and it wasn't so bad. Then, after Christmas, it warmed up, leading to one of the warmest Januaries (is that the correct plural of January?) in the weather annals. During the course of that month, I went to the mountains in Utah for Sundance, and damn, it was cold. I was out of practice with the bundling-up business, and it was just so c-c-c-cold. Now it's February, and while it's not as cold as the December nasties, it's colder than it was all last month. But I need not complain bitterly, for Santa Claus brought me toasty warm shoes. (Technically, I shopped for the shoes myself and gave them to Mr. Tangerine to wrap up as a Christmas present.) But I bought lovely chocolate brown shoes, and I kept finding myself wearing them with black tops, so now I've ordered a black pair. It's the only way I'll get through February, March, and the cold part of April. Omigod, slipping into these shoes is like swaddling your feet in warm blankets, no matter how long you're out in the cold. Sure, they're low-backed slides, but they're warmer than my boots. If your feet tend to get cold, these shoes will delight them.

Wow. Weather blogging and shoe blogging! For an encore, without further ado, not necessarily medically sound information on parasomnias. What's a parasomnia? It's a sleep disorder that involves some sort of activity while you're sleeping—it could mean sleepwalking, nightmares, sleep terrors, or strange behaviors that pop up during REM sleep. That last one is bizarre; people with REM sleep behavior disorder act out vivid, violent dreams while they're asleep. They'll talk or yell, punch, kick, or grab, sit up, jump out of bed, flail their arms—all of which can be most alarming if you're sleeping with one of these people. Can you imagine? (You know, Mr. Tangerine once bit my shoulder in his sleep. He must have been dreaming about snacking, eh?)

The most bloggable parasomnia hasn't been widely accepted by the medical establishment, and I can't say whether it merits being an officially sanctioned diagnosis. However, it makes for some good readin': Check out sleepsex.org and learn about "sexsomnia" (click a few links if you're bored). This is not to be confused with postcoital sleepiness used to relieve insomnia, nor with being unable to sleep because you've got sex on your mind. Nope, "sexsomnia" is sexual behavior that occurs, like sleepwalking, while a person is sound asleep from a neurological standpoint. It could be a man mauling his partner in the middle of the night and having no memory of it (and if he's not dreaming about foreplay first, hmm, that could be off-putting to the partner). It could be a woman having a really spicy dream and having herself a good ol' time under the covers, alone or with her bed partner. Or it could be a guy who pleasures himself in his sleep. Throw in a scenario in which a couple's sex life has dwindled—how would you feel if your honey never wanted to do it with you, but he or she woke you up nightly while having an unconscious wild rumpus for one?

You know what? I like that phrase: wild rumpus for one. Definitely more fun when you're awake, though...

10 comments:

Charlie said...

Like Dave Barry would say, Wild Rumpus for One would make a great band name.

Mona Buonanotte said...

That's one of my favorite lines from "Where the Wild Things ARe"..."Let the wild rumpus start!!"

DoctorMama said...

You should copyright that phrase.

Giovanna said...

I just bought Primo Chill slides too and I swear I haven't taken them off my feet since I first put them on... I love them more than my luggage.

I wonder if the legend of the succbus has its origins in "sexomia"?

Mignon said...

Is that the same as a wet dream? Or does it require the body to function simultaneous to the dream? Just curious.

I wonder if there's a way to induce this type of dreaming, because that may be the only way I can fit in a little nookie these days...

E. said...

The definition (with examples) of paranormia did not disappoint. Thanks!

And I do believe that Januaries would be the correct plural of January. Would that be in the Chicago manual? I did not look it up. I'm just using my English teacher instincts.

Orange said...

E., who has the time to consult references? That would require me to open the credenza next to my desk and actually look in one of those books. References are for sissies!

Mignon, the wet dream involves no purposeful actions on the part of the body. The "sexsomnia" people are hands-on.

Giovanna, who knows? Maybe the incubus and succubus concepts both came out of this. And omigod, I do love these shoes. I've taken to wearing them in the house when my feet are cold because they're cozier than my slippers.

Mona, of course I totally stole "wild rumpus" from Maurice Sendak—but without the monsters and their teeth and their claws.

Charlie said...

Who uses a reference book when they can just get these Wikipedia and Merriam-Webster search engine plugins for Firefox?

JT said...

OMG, I will never be able to read "Where The Wild Things Are" with a straight face again.

And I was just utterly gushing about my own Merrells yesterday, to a pregnant nurse practitioner who didn't have any of her own. Poor thing. I set her straight, baby.

Enjoy your foot hugs!

E. said...

Orange, you have a credenza! Kick ass! I love that word, but since I don't have a credenza, I rarely get to use it. Ah, credenza...