Thursday, February 09, 2006

So not my demographic

I do enjoy my Entertainment Weekly subscription. I always have something to read while brushing or flossing my teeth (DoctorMama, holla!) or sitting down to pee, and I stay up to date on the latest in show business, books, and music. Now, I won't pretend it didn't sting when The Most Fabulous Documentary That Ever Was (i.e., Wordplay) didn't rate an actual review from the EW critics who went to Sundance—but at least they were kind enough to include the crossword movie in their list of five Sundance breakouts.

Last week's issue of EW alerted me to the most important new development in the publishing world: NASCAR-licensed Harlequin romances. The first in the series is called Into the Groove. It'll be followed by two more titles this year and 19 next year. Now, if you're looking for out-and-out motor-sports smut, this ain't for you—NASCAR's keeping the books at a PG-13 level. Each volume will, I presume, involve a male race-car driver and a female love interest.

This is absolutely, positively, indubitably a book series I will never read. Why not? I am female, after all. But NASCAR? Ick. I'm a city girl, and us city folks are a tad less inclined to love motor sports. And Harlequin romances? Ick. Frankly, I just might be too smart for the NASCAR Harlequin combo. I daresay the NASCAR Harlequin vibe is aptly summed up by the Amazon customer reviews. At this writing, there are three reviews, averaging 4 stars apiece: two 5-star raves and one 2-star rave. Yes, that's right. One reader raved about the book ("It held my attention all the way, I can't wait for the next 2. I hope the next 2 are as good. Thank you from a true diehard NASCAR fan. Its worth reading.I give it the NASCAR NEXTEL CUP CHAMPIONSHIP!!!") and bestowed a 2-star rating on the book. The intricacies of both the 5-star rating system and the conventions of punctuation have eluded her. You see? I am in the Proper Punctuation demographic, not the NASCAR Groupie demographic.

I'm holding out for the series of romance novels involving infectious-disease epidemiologists who construct crossword puzzles. Now that could be hot. What? There's a market for that sort of thing. I'm sure of it.

9 comments:

Itchy said...

I saw Wordplay mentioned and thought about you. To me the most important info in that EW is the Arrested Development write up in the What to Watch section...that show deserves better than FOX.

JT said...

I saw that blurb on the NASCAR Harlequins! They might as well have said "insect military" for all that interested me. What a Wal-Mart combo. Tee hee hee.

Mignon said...

When I first heard NASCAR Harlequin I thought it was some kind of car porn. Like one car with a really long exhaust pipe and another car with, well, that's where I got stuck. But I think in the end, car porn would probably be more interesting.

Sergei C. said...

Methinks the lady doth protest too much. *vroom vroom*

Cricket said...

Even being a Sundance breakout doesn't sound that attractive. Jeez, it puts you in the market for zit cream. Then again, zit cream could become a NASCAR sponsor, no?

Becky..Absent Minded Housewife said...

...his racing suit outlined every muscle, every rippling ridge of his well defined manhood. When he threw me on the hood of his Ferrari I knew that I was his and his alone, bending like a cheap fender to his steely will...

Lisa said...

I think, Becky, you missed your calling in life! Send that to Harlequin and I guarantee they'll sign you up as an author!!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha.

Sid said...

NASCAR + Harlequin Romance = Waste of trees.

Now that crossword bustin' epidemiologist angle you thought up? Me likey!

L. Shepherd said...

That is the most revolting thing I've ever heard. Like, ever. Ever. Seriously, ever.