Thursday, October 13, 2005

Oops, she did it again

Remember the evangelical Christian couple that was featured on a cable show, "14 Kids and Pregnant Again!"—the Duggars from Arkansas? Julie at A Little Pregnant had a nice write-up of the show back in February. Well, apparently the Lord wanted Michelle Duggar to have yet another baby, because kid #16 was born this week.

What do you reckon over a dozen pregnancies and deliveries does to a woman's body? And is there any chance that Jesus will see fit to bring on early menopause?

As is the Duggars' wont, they went with another J name (though one of their past choices is arguably not really a J name), giving them this lineup: Joshua, 17; John David, 15; Janna, 15; Jill, 14; Jessa, 12; Jinger, 11; Joseph, 10; Josiah, 9; Joy-Anna, 8; Jeremiah, 6; Jedidiah, 6; Jason, 5; James, 4; Justin, 2; Jackson Levi, 1; and newborn Johannah. I'm not sure the household needed a Johannah when they already had a Joy-Anna, though. Or a Josiah on top of Joseph and Joshua. If the Lord doesn't serve up a timely dose of menopause, I really hope the Duggars get to use some great J names they've neglected thus far. Jehoshaphat, for one. Jezebel. Judas. Jethro Tull. Jemima. Job. Jibberish. Jesus. Not to mention a Jim Bob Jr., named after the dad, because that would be a proud legacy to carry on.

For all the infertile people who are told that maybe it's God's will that they not have children, ain't it lovely that the Lord is giving their allotment of children to the Duggars instead?

14 comments:

Mona Buonanotte said...

Any bets on when her uterus is just gonna slide out of her poony? I'm guessing 6 weeks.

Orange said...

Hey, that's exactly what happens to my grandma!

Cricket said...

When you have that many kids, the older raise the younger. More specifically, the older girls, the ones who will be raiding the child-free boards when they are of age and want nothing further to do with babies. My sympathies to: Janna, 15; Jill, 14; Jessa, 12; Jinger, 11.

The Un-Apologetic Atheist said...

Every time I think about my decision not to reproduce, I think of the millions of Americans like the Duggars and weep.

First, I visualize my triple-digit-IQ friends, acquaintances, and colleages, and count kids. Then I picture my moronic friends, acquaintances, and colleages, and count kids. I take an average-offspring count according to the two contrasted traits, and ponder the Darwinian-fitness notion of "whichever trait produces more offspring that survive to reproduce" as the trait that will become dominant and fixed in the population.

Then I cry.

The Un-Apologetic Atheist said...

colleagues*

Geezus, I need a new keyboard.

Rob Helpy-Chalk said...

UA: It's a good thing that IQ isn't a measure of any real trait, but at best an imperfect way of amalgamating many traits, and that many actual cognitive traits are only weakly heritable.

Orange said...

But UA-Rob, what makes you think Jim Bob and Michelle aren't candidates for Mensa membership?

Charlie said...

This was the quote that made me want to weep:

"We both just love children and we consider each a blessing from the Lord. I have asked Michelle if she wants more and she said yes, if the Lord wants to give us some she will accept them," he said in a telephone interview.

The Lord's desires regarding pregnancy have a suspiciously high correlation to whether or not the couple uses birth control.

Rob Helpy-Chalk said...

Oh, and as someone who is actually named Jim Bob, and who has spent periods of his life going by the name J-Bob, I resent the implicatin that all us James Roberts are stoopid.

Maine said...

To quote Chris Rock:

"Bitch! Stop fuckin'!"

That's just way too many kids. Way. And when do they find time to fuck and make more kids when they've already got 15 running around the compound?

Orange said...

Maine, they've got to have a lock on their bedroom door. Or else the kids know they'll get a whupping if they bother Mom and Dad at night. "I don't care if you're bleeding, child! If you need something, you go to your assigned buddy sibling and leave us alone. The Lord has more babies to give us."

JT said...

Okay, how come I'm only on pregnancy #3 (which is considered insane in my family) and my uterus is falling out?

flea said...

I'm so glad you wrote about the Duggars. Now I don't have to do it. It's their choice, obviously, but they make me feel a little squicky.

The Un-Apologetic Atheist said...

Rob - It was mostly a joke, because as you say, intelligence is only weakly correlated to parental brainpower. Thank goodness. I'm really more worried about the crap that moronic parents instill in their children from the youngest age-- I'd wager we have far far FAR more brain-dead or brain-damaged children of WASP fundamentalists running around an average Walmart in a single day than the entire well-adjusted population of "kids of two PhDs" who can handle a world in which there are nonbelievers and queers and people of other ethnic/racial backgrounds.

Some of those kids, like me, will kick their childhood training to the curb and learn to be open-minded progressive thinkers. Most will grow up to vote Repubnant.