Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Diatribe against the seat-spatterers who lurk among us

Nobody does a rant quite like Suzinalexa over at Post-coital Babble. Her latest post tackles the infuriating and disgusting practice of women whizzing above—and on, and around—a public toilet rather than just sitting down and tending to their bodily needs. We sitters do not appreciate the hoverers and the messes they leave behind. You know, if the hoverers would just not be so messy, public bathrooms would be cleaner, and then the hoverers wouldn't feel compelled to hover. It's a vicious circle.

13 comments:

Mona Buonanotte said...

I never understood why people thought any kind of germs would migrate like little geese from the backs of your legs and that little crescent of exposed buttocks, to some internal organ and cause, what, creeping pee death? Sit, ladies! That's why they call it a toilet SEAT, not a toilet HOVER.

the nut said...

Then there are the women who put the cover down and flush the toilet with their feet. ARGH! Do they not understand there are more germs on the bottom of your shoe than your unexposed butt cheek?

At my job in Virginia Beach, there used to be a sign the receptionist got from her daughter in kindergarten: If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.

These notes need to be posted everywhere.

Orange said...

Nut, when they make everyone wash their hands before flushing, then I'll use my hand to flush. Until then, I'm using my foot. I'd prefer not to touch the flush handle, which could well have pee, poo, and menstrual blood residue on it, with the hands I eat with, rub my eyes with, and touch my child with. Especially since public bathrooms are sometimes out of soap.

Sass said...

I agree that the "hover-ers" must be stopped...and looking over at the sneeze today, it hit me. All the "hover-ers" should be made to purchase one of these devices:
http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000367.php

Cecil B. said...

Just out of college where we had a coed bathroom with no urinals, I had to deal with piss on the seats as well, but I always thought it was the dudes. I've always had this understanding that dudes piss on the seat because they're too lazy to sit down. I had no idea you women-folk pissed on seats as well. That must be quite the amusing thing to watch...kind of....

Jerry said...

Years ago I spent a summer cleaning the restrooms at a resort in Oregon. (worse job ever) and I will have to say the women's restroom was always the bigger mess. Don't get me wrong both genders have their sicko's...it's amazing what people will do in a closed stall.

JT said...

Hear here! Hoverers make me crazy, and I too flush with either my foot, or a gloved/jacket-covered hand. I'm also really paranoid about my kid not touching fixtures in public bathrooms, and scrubbing those hands.

The women's room at Wrigley still gives me the heebie-jeebies. [shudder]

the nut said...

I've only been in 1 McDonalds bathroom that was actually clean and didn't stink. And there are a lot of McD's everywhere!

I find it silly that people flush the toilet with their feet, yet will go right out and wash their hands anyway. More germs are on your shoe than your hand....

Orange said...

Nut, dear, my overriding goal in the public john is to keep as much filth off my hands as possible. I'm not concerned about keeping the flush handle clean.

This all raises the issue of the auto-flushing toilet, which requires no one to touch a handle. But the f*ckers tend to flush while I'm still sitting there. I don't mind sitting on a public toilet seat, but I must object to toilet contents being whooshed at high speed and splashed upwards. (Even if the toilet contents are mine.)

Emma Goldman said...

I think that there should be segregation. Just as we segregate washrooms into men's and women's, we should segregate the women's room into sitters' and hoverers' stalls. The hoverers remind me of Flea's "my vagina is a rosebud" people.

Stella said...

Every time I go into a public women's bathroom, I always seem to walk out muttering, "I hate women."

What I really mean is "I hate hoverers," but you get the idea.

the nut said...

Agh, good point about the auto-flushers. Sometimes I haven't even sat down yet and the damned thing flushes. We have to hold our hands over the sensors for my niece, who absolutely refused to go to the bathroom otherwise.

bitchphd said...

What I don't understand is, if you're gonna hover, why not lift the seat? (I know, I know, it's gonna be the "ew, touch it with my *hands*?!" hangup, but really. That's what soap is for.) (And yes, damnit, I do so flush public toilets with my foot. That's what the "h" in my name is for--"hypocrite.")