Saturday, May 14, 2005

Goofy retro fun

Thanks to Emma Goldman of War on Error for linking to this entertaining new blog, Threadbared. Retro sewing patterns for hideous clothes and crafts. This link will take you to some super-creepy puppets.

The scary retro stuff is so much fun! As soon as I find out how to work our scanner, I'll tackle that old Knox Gel-Cookery cookbook (©1963) and share some fantastic recipes and pictures with you. Here's a small sample:

Green Salad Mold

A new and deliciously different twist for a popular stand-by—green salad is molded for added pleasure." [Ed. note: Molded, but not ribbed.] The ingredients include:

1 envelope unflavored Knox gelatin
1 Tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1 3/4 C water
1/4 C vinegar
1 Tbsp lemon juice
1/4 C chopped scallions
1 C shredded raw spinach
1 C chopped celery
1/4 C shredded raw carrots

After you get the whole thing molded into an attractive ring, they suggest that you garnish with tomatoes and olives. With all the spinach in there, it almost looks like lime Jell-o. Lime Jell-o with vomit suspended in it, that is. (Garnished with olives!) But if you really want a main dish that looks like vomit, you can't go wrong with Cottage Cheese and Kidney Bean Salad: "Hearty enough for a luncheon main dish, this salad has a tempting combination of flavors everyone will enjoy." (Those flavors being cottage cheese, kidney beans, French dressing, onion, and cabbage. Ohhh, Satan, how thou dost tempt me!)

I wish I knew what to do with a scanner. Sigh.

6 comments:

Feral Mom said...

Sounds like a good candidate for another "Steve, Don't Eat It!"

Emma Goldman said...

oh.
my.
god.

my friend from Kansas introduced me to the concept of "funeral salad" or maybe it was "funeral jello," i.e., a jello mold with stuff in it, but this, this is just . . . no, I don't have the words for this.

Orange said...

How about Chicken and Sour Cream Mold? Or Shrimp Chili Mold (with pickle relish)? Jellied Veal Loaf? The two-layer construction, Molded Turkey and Cranberry (garnish with parsley and olives!)? Corned Beef and Slaw Salad? Tangy Tuna Mold?

Molded Avocado and Tuna: "A dreamy two-layered main dish salad with great eye appeal plus a divine combination of flavors."

Those were all entrees. In the salad category, we also have Jellied Clam-Tomato Soup ("To serve, cut into cubes or break up with a fork.") And Mustard Relish Molds. To make Cucumber and Grapefruit Mold, you'll need a one-pound can of grapefruit sections. A can! Cauliflower Perfection Salad. Appetizers include Aspic Canap├ęs, and you'll love the Jellied Chicken Gazpacho.

Do you dare me to show up at my cousin's bridal shower with one of these lovely dishes?

Ennie said...

In college, my suitemates and I actually made the "Mock Apple Pie" on the Ritz crackers box.

It wasn't that bad, but, geez, how unnutritious can you get?

Sass said...

When I had to take home economics in middle school, my teacher was obsessed with knox. We had to make several "creations" the only one of which I remember is "Knox Blox" a horrible cube made of knox gelatin, juice and cream.
My family in Canada to this day insist upon the jelly salad for holidays, which entails fruit flavored gelatin, shredded carrots, and perhaps some sort of cabbage. It's horrendous.

Cricket said...

Hi,
Here via Tertia...

God, I'm so glad to find another athiest mom.