Friday, April 07, 2006

Still coughing

You know the hard thing about having a powerful cough after you've had a kid? It makes you wish you did Kegels regularly. If I'm standing up when a cough strikes, I have to cross my legs. I'm doing a helluva job, if you don't mind my saying so, avoiding the disgorgement of anything other than phlegm when I cough. Still haven't barfed or peed my pants. I do sometimes feel a little light-headed right after I cough, though, and it tastes terrible—am I dying, DoctorMama? Should I call my physician?

My client warned me that this is the respiratory virus that gives you a cough that lasts for nearly a month, so I've got about three weeks to go. She also said I should take an antihistamine, which I thought sounded odd, but that recent consensus statement from the pulmonary specialists seems to say not only that over-the-counter cough suppressants are largely useless, but that taking an antihistamine and decongestant may help with an infection-related cough. You know what? I think it does help. So if you get hit with the whammy cough—cough starts first, then the cold symptoms follow—there is hope. Have a Benadryl and a decongestant. If you don't want to sign over your first-born child to score some pseudoephedrine (come on! quit sniffling! you're not sick, you just want to cook some meth! we can see it in your eyes!), try the phenylephrine. It works just fine for me.

Wow. Worst post ever! But hopefully useful if you're coughing.


Charlie said...

Worst post ever? I dunno about that, but at least it'll be fun to see what kind of search queries this post brings in.

DoctorMama said...

Oh, I can tell you the queries. They're not too interesting, I promise.

Dying? Naw. At least probably not?

And yeah, dextromethorphan does diddly-shit. Codeine cough syrup may work a bit, and at least has the added benefit of making you happy and sleepy.

Viral coughs can go on for three-four weeks, easy.

A trick: do and hold a Kegel just before you start coughing or sneezing. Usually works.

Hope you're feeling perky again soon.

Orange said...

Get your "orange phlegm barfing disturbing poetry" right here! "Discharge your orange balls after peeing pants." Not to mention "Kegels disgorgement tastes terrible."

Anonymous said...

Bummer. feel better!

JT said...

Check out the boy's cough medicine. Triaminic Cough Strips? One hundred percent diphenhydramine -- Benadryl.

Dharma said...

I've been sick for almost a week, and I'm about to drive myself nuts. Some congestion, some coughing which hurts my lungs and excerbates (I'm so not a speller bee winner) my asthma. Slight fever here and there. Mostly plumb tired. Here's hoping you and I beat this thing fast. I hate OTC meds. Can't remember the last time I took antibiotics. Just liquid, maybe some zicam and trying to rest.

Tertia said...

Am feeling fucking terrible myself. What tips do you have for a sore throat?

And also, may I just say how much I hate you for the LOL thing. Now I can't use it any more.



JT said...

Tertia, run out and get yourself some St. Joseph's Asprin For Children. Yep, same Tang-flavored chewables we used as kids. Crush up like six of them, stir the powder into a few ounces of water, and gargle with it.

That was highly recommended by my doc when I recently endured two bouts of strep throat three weeks apart.

Mona Buonanotte said...

I had the cold first, and now I'm battling the body-wrenching coughs. I did almost pass out this weekend during one extended cough-fest. And I squirted pee only once.