Sunday, April 30, 2006


As the Feral Mom points out here, it's National Poetry Month. Now, I may have majored in English, but I've scarcely even been fond of poems. I do make an exception for haiku—and not heartfelt haiku, but snotty/snarky/wiseacre haiku. Like the ones the Feral Mom has composed. My favorite of hers:

Belly swings gently
Two lobes, slight crease in middle
It's my second ass

Here's a topical one I'll write about how I'm feeling right this minute:

A migraine sucks ass
I threw some codeine at it
The fucker came back

Yes, that's right. I'm having a cranky day, and I'm still in my pajamas at 6 p.m. (Don't worry about passing along advice for managing migraines. I know all the tricks, and I only get a really pesky one like this every couple years. And it's not as if I'm vomiting, or unable to sit upright.)

Anyway, please think of something you have a bad attitude about and write a haiku about it in the comments, 'kay? Let us all wallow in a Haikupalooza of Pissiness. Pissiness, Snarkiness, Rudeness—anything with no socially redeeming overtones will do.


Cricket said...

Son has ADD.
Baseball adds on game two. Yuck.
We all have it now.

Laura(southernxyl) said...

Have a headache too.
It's because of the weather.
Sinus, dont'cha know?

DoctorMama said...

In-laws try so hard
Giving help, advice, food, love
I want to smack them

JT said...

The kids are whiny
Husband's not so great, either
I need a spa day

Mignon said...

My 'gina itches.
Isn't there a cream for this?
Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch.

Cricket said...

School painting project
done outside in yard draws kids.
Go home, heathens. Scat.

Orange said...

Know what else sucks ass?
Go to bed with no headache
Wake up with new one

E. said...

George W. Bush
Gearing up for Iran war
Lying sack of shit

Charlie said...

K-Mart scale says I
am shockingly overweight.
Fear my jelly roll.

Orange said...

This is wonderful, people! At last, when people come to Orange Tangerine because they've Googled some sad depressing horrifying poems, they'll be treated to some some sad depressing horrifying poems. Many thanks!