Monday, January 16, 2006

Jeans advice

All right. Desperate to acquire some new jeans, I bought a pair at the Gap the other day. They've got the broken-in "left weave" denim and the "curvy flare" cut, and they look decent on me. However I am an adult. And these jeans? They have holes in them—one on the right knee, one on the left thigh. And preemptively holey jeans, quite frankly, are silly.

Question 1: Can I wear these jeans in public at my advanced age (late 30s), or must I return them for a refund? They're the first jeans that fit well enough for me to buy them after about three months of occasional shopping.

Question 2: If I do keep these jeans, can I wear them at Sundance? Is it in poor taste to let your long underwear show through the prefab holes in your jeans?


Bella Sultane said...

Er... Fashion-wise, I'd have to say return them. Holes - not so good. On the other hand, if you're comfortable in them and comfortable wearing them out, go for it!

Perhaps try Old Navy for jeans - even though I sort of think that they canoodle with the dark side (labor practices, etc.), I usually have the best luck getting their stuff to fit me well.

Mignon said...

Q1: Keep them! Finding pants that fit: hard! Holes in pants worn in public when you're an adult: whatevs! But I agree with the Ms., Old Navy does have a few decent styles that don't show off your butt crack and pubes.

Q2: No. Yes.

Rob Helpy-Chalk said...

Ok, people go out of there way to tell me, both on the internet and in person, that I have no fashion sense. I still feel, though, like an expert on Clothing with Holes.

I started wearing clothing with holes in the 80s, before it was fasionable, continued to do so in the 90s, when it was fashionable, and now wear clothing with holes in the 00s. (Except when I'm teaching.) I am glad holes are coming back, because otherwise I would be mistaken for a homeless person.

Some fashion rulings:

1. Long underwear showing through the holes in you jeans is extra-cool. Generally, though, to be cool it has to be old-fashioned waffle-weave looking stuff. I've done other sorts of long underwear, but it acknowledge it is a step down. Lycra bike wear also looks good though holes in jeans.
Sometimes I wear long underwear with holes in them underneath my jeans with holes in them, but this is pushing things.

2. The holes in your jeans have to be be put there by someone other than the manufacturer. You can wear them in yourself, or you can buy used jeans that someone else wore out. Pre-fab holes are wrong. Since you have already bought the jeans, though, it might be easier to keep them and lie.

3. The most daring move, though, is to actually by new clothing and rip it up. Richard Hell did this in the 70s, to express his distain for fashion, and yet manage to be more fashionable than anyone. I believe he is the source of all of the torn clothing fashion in the English speaking world in the last thirty years.

The ancient cynics, going all the way back to Diogenes, also wore torn clothing. Their rational was identical to Mr. Hell's.

bitchphd said...

Please return them. Not b/c of age, but b/c clothing with pre-fab holes is just so awful! The Gap doesn't have *anything* in the same cut that doesn't have holes? How immensely sucky....

I think I went through about a 7-year period where I simply didn't wear jeans for that reason.

DoctorMama said...

ooh, I wish I could bless the holey jeans, but ... just ... can't ... do it.

Orange said...

Bella, Mignon: Old Navy didn't have anything that fit me a couple months ago. I should check for new styles now that the spring clothes are in.

Rob, thanks for the lengthy discourse. This may actually be the most persuasive argument against keeping the jeans.

Dr. B, I swear the dark, intact jeans labeled "curvy flare" were an inch and a half shorter under the belly, and the other to denims didn't have my size. I'll have to check a bigger Gap store and see if maybe something's got the same cut, sans holes.

Dr. M, your bedside manner is a little...harsh. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Me no likey the holes. Bad holes.

I also liked the "curvy fit" cut at the Gap, but couldn't deal with the holes. I found a happy home at Old Navy -- their boot-cuts are great. Have you tried there?

Feral Mom said...

Maybe you could patch the holes? I hear all the kids are wearing patches again these days. Also, I think with that eyebrow job, no one will be looking at your pants at Sundance anyway.
Still, never take fashion advice from the feral. Case in point, I am still waiting for the Gap to introduce "Old Man fit" jeans, that sit Just Below Nipples and are Relaxed through the Ass and Belly.

DoctorMama said...

Bedside manner? You want some bedside manner? Fine.
"I can give my recommendations, but you're the boss of yourself. How do YOU feel about the holes?"

Old Man fit, oh my god, brilliant.

Delia Christina said...

you must return those jeans. must.

uniform wash, no holes, medium rise, and a leg length/cut that flatters your height. if all else fails, there's always custom:

Orange said...

The internets have spoken: The jeans have been returned. I bought another "curvy flare" pair, but I don't much care for the type of denim. Dammit, now I miss the jeans with the holes.

Anonymous said...

I was going to say those jeans would be perfect for Sundance. After going to and working at that festival for over 6 years just about anything goes.

Unknown said...

I agree with custom made jeans. I have tried finding jeans everywhere, and for $45.00 you can't beat custom made. Try: