Monday, January 30, 2006

Have you got one?

When disrobing before his shower this morning, Ben was overcome by intellectual curiosity, as often happens to a five-year-old.

Ben: Do firefighters have butt cracks?
Me: Yes.
Ben: Do ambulance guys have butt cracks?
Me: Yes, they do.
Ben: Do sick people have butt cracks?
Me: [Thinking As long as they're not sick with a raging case of noncrackitis.] Yes.
Ben: What about dead people?
Me: That...depends. [Thinking of cremation and advanced decomposition, either of which would pose a stern challenge to even the sturdiest butt crack.]
Ben: What if they're, like, skeletons?
Me: Then no.

(If you're reading this post months from now and wondering why there are no pictures of firemen with their pants off, I don't know what to tell you, other than good luck in your search!)

14 comments:

Cricket said...

From your title, I really thought this was going to be about dicks. And, as such, I'm really disappointed about the lack of pictures.

Having a little boy, too, kind of primed me for such talk. Ben's a darling.

Lisa said...

I swear our boys are triplets!

Your bracketed comments are the best part, though.

Mona Buonanotte said...

My kids love to shake their bare butts before and after a bath, and chant, "Shakin' my booooooty" over and over again.

I'd take pictures of it, but that's the kind of thing you can get arrested for....

Mignon said...

I can tell you also that my FedEx guy and anyone wearing jeans from Old Navy also have butt cracks. I don't have one. I don't poop or fart or burp, either.

DoctorMama said...

Even babies have them.

robinka said...

I can attest, although I concede that almost no one out there could possibly care, that although loogies on the ground, pissing in public and dog poops on the sidewalk are prevalent here in Prague, I cannot recall a single butt crack sighting on my part for the several years I have resided here. Come one, come all. You will be safe from the menace here in Bohemia.

arnheim Lieber said...

If you want a pic of trouserless firemen..i would suggest east side of midtown Manhatten on St. Patty's day. Drunken firefighters galore, I'm sure you can talk one into posing for you.

JT said...

Trying SO hard to resist Googling the phrase "firemen with their pants off." Trying.... not that hard. Darn, here come the relentless porno popups.

And DoctorMama, that picture is to die for. How adorable are teeny little boys in jeans?

the nut said...

Mona - glad to know that my kid isn't the only one who likes to do that. The problem, though, is he can't just shake his booty and ends up shaking his whole body. That's what makes it hilarious.

Dawn said...

My daughter recently asked me what her labia was USED for - "I mean REALLY USED FOR"

Oh Honey. I so am not ready to get into that.

E. said...

Three-year-old O. recently asked my husband what "hooking up" means. Husband said "when someone gives you something good" (the usual use of the term in our household, as in "we are hooking you up!") Otis said "But what is 'hooking up' real?" as in "cut the crap and tell me what it really means." Let's see, should we talk drugs? Sex? Neither? For now we're opting for the last of the three options.

Dick said...

Orange, I could email you a rear view of Paul at work in his bookstore, so you could show him the whole butt of a bookstore owner. I didn't post it on my blog, only the front view, but I do have such a photo!

the nut said...

The other day my niece bent over to get the clothes out of the washing machine and her little buck crack shown brightly. I immediately thought of this post, too. See? I think about you even when you aren't there... ;)

amusing said...

If you want a picture of a fireman with his pants off, google "wellingtons" or "rubber boots" Yup. Was trying to find some wellies for my five year old and instead I found naked firemen, boot fetishists, etc. Fascinating. But not what I needed.