Thursday, November 03, 2005

Missives from Spamland

Okay, I understand that spammers have programmed their spam machines to generate random pairs of words for subject lines to elude the filters. I understand there is no meaning to them. But sometimes I love what they send me! There was one that featured the new phrase, "anus bolster." It occurs to me that such an item, if it existed, might be just what my grandma needs to remedy a couple of her complaints. More recently, I received a hot stock tip with the subject line "RE: warty creamery." I like to get Heath bars and pecans mixed into my ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery; what delights await me at Warty Creamery?

Someday, someone somewhere is sure to Google these phrases, and they'll be so sad to see I know so little about these subjects. So they'll return to the Google results and see ads for "shop for warty creamery at eBay" and "find books about anus bolster." They will click on those links and be disappointed anew, won't they?

I've also been having a hard time deleting the one with the subject line, "Launch an appearance of success with one of our imitation watches." What provides the veneer of status better than an imitation watch? They're not claiming to have imitation Rolexes; for all I know, it could be an imitation Casio with a painted-on digital readout.

Thank you. That is all.

1 comment:

kathie said...

Actually, my gram could use the anus bolster, herself. Let me know when you find one.