I love meeting far-flung bloggers in person. So far I've met flea, JT, Dr. B, the Feral Mom, Lisa, ding, and Stella from this blogroll—and yesterday, DoctorMama and I had brunch.
The good doctor and I went to M. Henry instead of the restaurant called Orange because I'd heard Orange makes you wait 1 to 2 hours for a table on weekends. Horrors! So we went to the other place and waited...for an hour. (They're expanding in another week, and god knows they could use the extra capacity.) It was nice to spend some time in the sun, hungry or no, and the conversation was superb. I've not been disappointed by any blogger meet-ups to date, and I wish I could meet everyone else, too, because I know the conversation would flow if you could just peel us away from our keyboards and put us in the same city.
DoctorMama endeared herself to me eternally when she began perusing the menu and announced that she was ruling out various dishes based on their ingredients—which is exactly my approach to every restaurant menu. I'm nowhere near the picky eater I once was, but I'm going to filter out any and all of the following: red meat, shellfish, broccoli, mustard, eggplant, mango/papaya/guava, Swiss cheese, tuna, green or red peppers, red wine, mushrooms, celery, olives, an overreliance on the onion family, peas, cooked cauliflower, overly salty stuff, sushi, and more than a minimal amount of mayonnaise. That may sound super-picky, but I swear I eat a lot of different foods—just not much of those particular ones (I'll eat spicy samosas with a few peas in them, or potatoes aioli). I had scrambled eggs with house potatoes and toast—and those damn potatoes had regular onions, green onions, red peppers, and green peppers. I could've eaten them (after scraping off the unwanted bits) if they hadn't spent too much time being blackened in the kitchen. (Grr.) I ordered eggs because I felt like having a little protein for a change, but I should've copied DoctorMama and opted for sweet carbs. The lemon/raspberry French toast looked good...but I don't like too much lemon. I always rule out lemon desserts. And quit mocking me. It's a very efficient way of choosing from a menu. Mr. Tangerine is basically willing to eat everything, so he has a much tougher time choosing a dish.
By the way, DoctorMama's broken-by-the-kid, reset-by-herself nose looks perfectly fine. Her history as a household prizefighter is not readily apparent to the observer. Also, she has great hair.
After brunch, I drove DoctorMama back downtown to her hotel (insert the parking misadventure of your choice here) and came in to meet la familia DoctorMama. AngelBaby is adorable, with big brown eyes and an agreeable nature (to hear it from him, yes, they did see pink gorillas at the aquarium). TrophyHusband has great eyes, too, and a nice smile; he shared an anecdote concerning a quasi-colleague recently eaten by a crocodile (no kidding). And the parents who spawned DoctorMama are also lovely people, doting on AngelBaby while Mama went to brunch.
Then when I finally went home, Ben greeted me with a bear hug...and the announcement that he liked it better when I was gone because he and Daddy rocked the house with video games. (Hmph.)
Okay, let's be interactive. If you're not an omnivore like Mr. Tangerine, what foods do you instantly rule out? And if you are an omnivore, go ahead and pat yourself on the back. What's that? You patted yourself on the back four paragraphs ago because you were feeling superior? Yeah, I knew it. You omnivores always think you and your undiscerning palates are better than everyone else.
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29 comments:
i will NOT eat beets.
or radishes.
tripe.
sweetbreads. (and how cruel to call them 'breads.' they're innards!!)
tofu.
bran.
unfried clams & oysters.
crawdads.
anything with the word 'blood' in it. ('chocolate pork' my ass, mom!!)
never. you can't make me.
(however, my roommate just said that if it was cooked in bacon fat i'd eat it.)
I despise liver. I also do not like goat cheese, which made the '90s very difficult for me. Oh, I do not care for goat meat or "variety meats" either. Or eggs, if they're too runny.
Other than that, I'm up for almost anything. Orange, no red wine? My God, there have been times when half my caloric intake was attributable to red wine.
Doctor Mama's hair looks fabulous in the photos...I'm not surprised that it's fabulous in real life. While I will eat almost anything, I cannot, WILL NOT abide eggplant. The eggs vs. pancakes dilemma gets me everytime, too--I ALWAYS go with eggs. 50% of the time, it was the wrong choice.
Alright, you order the chicken, I'll get the beef/broccoli/swiss thing....
When are you coming to my fair state, anyhow?
ding, I will eat a minimal amount of beets or tofu, but I'm not having any of those other things you listed. You know what's fun? You take a little piece of beet and mix it into mashed potatoes. It turns your spuds a lovely shade of pink, but doesn't really impart much flavor.
Anonymous, I'll eat eggs only if they're scrambled, and they'd better be well-done because wet eggs are a turnoff. I've actually had a few bites of roasted goat cheese with tomato sauce recently, and it's not bad. But it's still called "goat cheese," so a bite or two suffices. My fatwa against red wine relates to (1) headaches and (2) the fact that my dad emphasized red wine in his alcoholic excesses. (Why couldn't he have focused on whiskey, dammit?)
F.M., I find that pancakes are often a bad choice—unless I'm at IHOP. In IHOP we trust. But eggs, I can't get further than the second egg before my throat threatens to rebel if I eat any more. I also hit a limit after about 6 ounces of yogurt—the 8-ounce container is dead to me.
Mona, you're grossing me out. I can't come visit you. You'll cook your favorite foods for me, or take me to an all-beef, all-Swiss restaurant, and I'll starve.
No mustard, ever. Don't sneak it into anything; I can smell it a mile away.
No raw onions, unless they're really small and mixed in salsa.
Hard-boiled eggs are disgusting.
Anything else, I'd probably eat.
Oh, but not Brussels Sprouts. They're really just alien larva.
Is it just me, or is EVERYONE talking about food today?
I'm against egg whites because egg whites are against me. I get hives from egg whites. So when I eat out, I avoid anything that might have egg protein in it: bread, dinner rolls, puff pastries, pancakes, salads, salad dressing, mayonnaise, cream sauces, soups, crust, pasta/noodles, and of course any dessert in any given restaurant besides Dairy Queen.
It sucks ass.
I will not eat most things that are green - but especially the broccolli and the peas. Ew, ew, ew. And if something has coconut in it...it will not say hello to my mouth. Shrimp is a no go. If any of these items are part of a dish...I keep moving on down the menu.
Anything with anise, fennel, or fennelgreek (of the latter two, I cannot remember which one tastes like licorice and which one doesn't, so I avoid both) revolts me. Spicy Italian sausage -- yes; sweet Italian sausage -- no; generic "Italian sausage" with no indication of spicy/sweet -- no, thank you.
Wintergreen mint reminds me of the pink sawdust stuff that the janitors in my elementary school would throw over vomit and other bodily "accidents." Blegh. No. No, thank you.
Finally, the smell of Juicy Fruit gum on another being's breath has enraged me to the point of stuttering and throwing shoes. Feel free to chew it, just not around me.
Wintergreen mint reminds me of the pink sawdust stuff that the janitors in my elementary school would throw over vomit and other bodily "accidents."
All the talk of food was making me hungry, then I read that and threw up in my mouth a little bit. That sawdust stuff was horrible.
What you do not mention, Orange, is that upon meeting me your real first impression was, "Gee, I thought you'd be taller." I felt like one of those lying men on Match.com: "Height: 6 feet* (*in high-heeled cowboy boots standing on a milk crate)".
No offense taken, though -- and for the record, I am 5 foot 3 and one quarter inches. Too bad I didn't read your prior post earlier, or I'd have worn something that made inspecting my posterior easier for you. I was TOTALLY checking out your rack (it was everything I hoped for); also your teeth (definitely nice and white) and your jeans (no faux holes!). And you don't have much of a butt in evidence yourself.
OK, I gave you many of these in person, I think, but:
NO:
red meat
green, red, or yellow peppers EVER
mushrooms
mango/papaya/guava
raw fish
shellfish except shrimp and clams
peaches
rosemary
creme brulee
cooked raisins
You should have seen AngelBaby after you left -- he screamed all the way to the drugstore, in the drugstore, and all the way home. He cheered up when we went in the pool, although when we got in the hot tub he pointed to his crotch and announced "Pee!"
So when are you coming to visit me?
Amen, Nancy.
And sorry, Krupskaya—that must suck.
Itchy has reminded me that I don't like coconut much, either.
Lisa Marie has reminded me that the whole anise/fennel/licorice trifecta is a Scourge on This Earth. But JuicyFruit is delicious! I won't chew it because the sugar rots the teeth, and I miss fruit-flavored Trident terribly.
Charlie, quit eating sawdust.
DoctorMama, you're six feet tall...on the inside. Your bum did not appear to be inadequate, so I don't know what you've been talking about. Big asses don't run in my family—bellies do. And now I have a new mission in life: To show you that peaches and rosemary and creme brulée are delicious, and that cooked raisins are tasty in moderation, in couscous, Indian food, or oatmeal cookies. I don't have a clue about visiting—I have two trips in the next three weeks, and it's tiring me out just to think about them.
Also, this confession will undoubtedly garner me many confused new enemies: I will not ingest coffee, coffee-flavored things, or those infernal coffee beans hiding inside otherwise innocuous chocolate.
No coffee!?! Oh, darling, something in your past must have gone horribly, horribly wrong. I'm so sorry.
NO Raisins.
Or raw pork.
My bum is a testament to all that I will eat.
Do not pity me, for I have Diet Coke.
Who the hell eats raw pork? Bleah.
You know what else I won't eat? Vanilla ice cream. It tastes terribly bitter to me because I'm a supertaster. And this nutrition writer lists a lot of foods I hate in her column about supertasters. The exceptions I make are for dark chocolate (but not, like, 75% pure), spinach (raw in salad only—I can't abide it cooked), chili, and tea (although tea tastes vile to me if it's too strong). So don't give me crap about coffee and red wine—dammit, I'm a supertaster! I shall have my sweet Riesling instead...
You've heard There Might Be Giants' kid song about Supertasters, yes?
People think I'm picky because I'm a vegetarian, but to be honest I'm finding it difficult to come up with a food I don't like--the Deadbeat comes from a long line of piggies. (I love the taste of meat; I just don't eat it. Don't ask me why. I've forgotten.)
But one thing I've tried multiple times, for some perverse reason thinking I should like it, is orange marmalade. The force feedings have never worked. Orange marmalade is one of the few foods I cannot abide.
One food I can tolerate okay but would never seek out is mint. Mint should be reserved for toothpaste.
I love that song. The intro—"When I was 39 years old"—always makes me laugh.
But I must rebut some of the lyrics: I love beer, as long as it's dark beer, which an American grad student in Europe once told me is much sweeter and less bitter than lighter beers. It's totally true. Dark beers: libation of choice for supertasters everywhere. I don't know that I taste non-bitter flavors more acutely, but coffee? It tastes burnt to me, and acrid.
I have to stop forgetting that I have superpowers when someone questions why I won't eat that supposedly delicious broccoli smothered in cheesoid sauce. Can my supertaster status be in doubt when I cannot eat vanilla ice cream because it's too bitter? It used to taste sweet, but the last five years or so, i cannot abide it.
No way! Is that on the No album? I think that's the only TMBG I don't own. (Nope, I just checked. I don't have Venue Songs either. I'm such a nerd.)
Make that a capital I...
What? How did you two sneak in when I wasn't looking?
Deadbeat, I know why *I* don't like orange marmalade. It's on account of the orange rind that's mixed in. It's bitter!
Charlie, you gotta get with the TMBG program for your children's sake...
Now I've got Birdhouse in Your Soul in my head. Thanks! :-)
Kidding about the raw pork. Jim and I were out the other night and I ordered a pork loin something-or-other, and the waiter asked how I liked it done. I just stared, slack-jawed. Uh, with hot hot hot heat? Whuuu?
And I second the mint thing. Don't go f*ckn up my chocolate with your damn toothpaste flavor!
Raw pork is in. The trichinosis scare is over, according to some shred of my remaining memory. We've eliminated it, like smallpox, so that one day, it can be used as a terrorist weapon.
And, I'll eat practically anything, as long as it doesn't have tomato sauce or curry on it. Not because I think those sauces taste bad, but, just the opposite-- they overwhelm every thing you put them on. Which makes me think I'll now go get some and rub it into my cold sore.
Alcohol, coffee, and peppers are the things I (or my stomach) cannot abide. It was awfully annoying in college, at least now I have a medical excuse to avoid them.
Damn, I've been out of town and missed all this great picky-eating discussion.
A former picky eater, the adult me will eat almost anything meatless if it's well prepared. But no parsley, ever (tastes like soap) and no papaya (it tricks you by looking like its luscious cousin mango, but it has a strange and icky flavor). I don't like celery cooked, but will eat it raw if it's slathered in peanut butter.
75% cocoa dark chocolate is like Heaven to me.
Went out to one of those watch-your-food-get-cooked-in-front-of-you Japanese-ish restaurants tonight, and skipped the grilled entrees. But what was I thinking when I ordered vegetable tempura? I ate the carrots and zucchini (though it's more bitter than its cousin, the yellow summer squash), and left the mushrooms (ick), onions (blech), green peppers (I'm a supertaster!), and broccoli (ditto). At least the Riesling was made to order...
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