Saturday, August 13, 2005

Search terms that entice my readers

The number-one most popular search term that has brought people to Orange Tangerine is...erectionphotos. Which I mentioned back on May 17, after Esquire magazine mentioned it. Just so you know, let me go on the record: I have not posted, and will not post, erection photos. This site is really much more text-driven. (Similarly, brazilian waxing pictorial cannot be found here.)

Then there are the obligatory logical searches for orangetangerine or some version thereof, and a few people looking for finslippy (she's right over there in the blogroll).

The rest of the search terms were entered by one sad individual apiece, typically looking for something they're not going to find here. Erotic correspondence? I can't be sure—who knows what I might write in a fugue state?—but I really don't recall blogging about that. It fits right in with my text-driven nature, sure, but...I think the person who clicked over here looking for something like Penthouse Forum was probably disappointed.

Next we have "drop a couple pounds" parody. Huh? And "john roberts" combover. Does he have a combover? I really haven't been paying attention. Mother son wrestling" discussion—again? Really, I don't address that. But did I ever tell you about my college roommate who learned to wrestle? Yeah, the wrestling coach, who was also her faculty advisor, was happy to teach her to wrestle. She could practice with the men's wrestling team, but wasn't allowed to compete against wrestlers from other colleges. Long story short, despite their 44-year age difference, the wrestling coach and his protegĂ©e fell in love and got married. (He had to "retire" from his posts. It probably didn't help matters that she had rented a room in his house while she was his student, eh?) The bride's stepchildren were older than her. The groom's mother- and father-in-law were younger than him. Shockingly, this marriage founded on the basics of grappling did not last.

My absolute favorite—and I have no idea what the hell this one's about—is bibles that are orange. Welcome, Person Interested in Orange Bibles! Sorry I can't help you. I'm not much of a bible fan.

lip-liner gloss mascara Uh, sorry, nope. wacoal spokesmodel? Hey, that's me! Sorry, no photos of my new bras. Last on the list is what is the meaning of the word tangerine. Hey, I love etymology! I'm guessing it has to do with Tangiers. 'Scuse me while I look that up. Yep, tangerine (the fruit and the associated color) is named after Tangiers, Morocco, whence the first mandarin oranges were shipped to Europe in 1841.

(By the way, yes, I know this sort of post is a sign of lazy blogging. It is slightly less lazy, however, than writing nothing.)


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Charlie said...

Having problems with trolls?

Orange said...

No, not trolls. Spam comments. First, they butter you up with praise: "Great blog! I'm definatly going to blogroll you!" (Gotta have the misspellings.) And then: "Stop by my site for fat buddha related things. it is about all things fat buddha related." (WTF?) Or maybe hair replacement, or home loans, or...some crap. Always posted by "anonymous," typically from overseas.

Charlie said...

Nice. I haven't gotten those yet. I can't wait.