Hey, look! It's May! Time to post again

No wonder my traffic has eroded so woefully—I haven't been keeping up this blog. I'm blogging every day—sometimes twice a day—at my 1⅓ crossword blogs. Between that, an uptick in freelance work, the persistence of the whole laziness/procrastination nexus, Facebook, and Twitter, yeah, I don't take the time here. Sorry. There does seem to be a rash of blogular lethargy these days, though. I can think of at least seven blog pals who have been blogging much less than they used to. Omigod! It must be contagious! Is it a swine writer's block pandemic?

Embodying the cheesiest trope of blogging, I return to whine. Why? Because I have to limit my potassium intake. I think it's more common for people to have low potassium levels and need to take a K supplement, or try to eat more bananas and orange juice. But not me. If I don't consciously minimize the potassium in my diet, the level goes up and increases the risk of cardiac arrhythmia, a.k.a. OMG YOU COULD TOTALLY DIE and you wouldn't even have symptoms. So I cannot mess around. Do you know what foods are particularly rich sources of potassium? I'll tell you:

• Chocolate.
  
• Milk.
  
• Ice cream.
  
• Potatoes in their many delicious forms.
  
• Bananas.
  
• Oranges, orange juice, and their citrus cousins. (Quelle ironie, as we say around here.)
  
• Beans, including the lovely pinto and black and kidney beans as well as the thank-god-I-have-a-health-excuse-to-avoid-them lima beans.
  
• Nuts, including yummy cashews, pecans, pecan pie, and almonds.
  
• Peanuts and peanut butter. Let us not overlook Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
  
• Dried fruit.
  
• Peaches.
  
• Pears.
  
• Chickpeas and the hummus that's made from them.
  
• Tomatoes and tomato sauce.
  
• Cheese.
  
• Whole-grain bread.
  
• Brown rice.
  
• Spinach and dark leafy greens. (Iceberg lettuce is a better bet.)
  
• A wealth of other fruits and vegetables.
  

What doesn't have a ton of potassium?

• Well, you've got your processed white bread and white rice. You know—the stuff I shouldn't go overboard on if I want to stave off type 2 diabetes, which my dad had.
  
• Beer and wine. Small favors! 
  
• Sugar.
  
• Grease. But not butter! That's dairy, and dairy has potassium.
  
• Meats. I haven't eaten red meat since I was 12, and lots of meat protein can tax impaired kidneys so I don't want to go there.
  
• I think apples and grapes aren't too high in K, at least compared to other fruit. Of course, what fruits are you supposed to eat more of? All those other ones. These ones pretty much deliver sugars and fiber without a lot of phytochemicals, don't they?
  
• Water.
  
• Fritos.
  

Isn't that a pisser? You can imagine what fun it is to shop for groceries or peruse a restaurant menu. Keep in mind that I should also watch my salt intake, and the fun multiplies! Some of my favorite meals and snacks say NO in two or three different ways. I'm going out for Indian food tomorrow, and I lovelovelove channa masala. Why, that's chickpeas galore! With some salt for good measure. How about a little homemade trail mix for a hit of protein—combine (unsalted) nuts, dried fruit tidbits, and chocolate chips. Chocolate ice cream is a two-fer. Mashed potatoes with lots of milk, butter, and sour cream. A tall glass of cold milk. A bowl of sliced bananas in orange juice. Cheese pizza with tomato sauce. Mexican food with beans, cheese, tomatoes, and sour cream.

I really should see a nutritionist for advice. Could some of you hassle me about that so I actually make an appointment with someone? Because this food thang bums me out, and there's no reason to think the dietary restrictions will ease at some point so I could use the help. Anyone in Chicago know a good registered dietitian?

Yes, this entire post is pretty much a big whinefest. Join me, won't you? Tell me what food you can't have. If you're one of those lucky dogs who can eat anything, just lie. I'll be sad if all the comments are "Wow, that's too bad! I love all those foods and eat them several times a day, every day."