Sunday, April 29, 2007

The next big food craze

You know some Mexican restaurants tout "burritos as big as your head"? No, no, no. That won't do. It's too one-size-fits-all. People want food that's customized for the individual.

That's why we're introducing a boffo new concept to the food-service industry: Burritos As Big As Your Penis™. No two burritoes the same! Our trained staff use sanitized calipers and rulers—pre-warmed for your comfort!—to get your exact dimensions. Your measurements are sent to the kitchen via our computerized order-management system, and your burrito is lovingly hand-made to match. Order as many as you like.

For speedier service on return visits, become a Burritos As Big As Your Penis™ Member. Your measurements are stored electronically on your Member card, and you get your card pierced for every burrito you buy. For every five piercings you earn a bottomless soft drink and when you have ten piercings, you may choose to upgrade your burrito size.

For franchising opportunities, visit our website.

4 comments:

Narya said...

Heh-heh; you said "hand-made."

And isn't Burrito as Big As Your Penis Member redundant there at the end?

And do women get to bring in their favorite silicone members? Or do we get burritos as big as our lovers' penises? Do we need a separate membership card for each lover?

I can't tell whether I'm Beavis or Butthead . . .

Becky..Absent Minded Housewife said...

I'll pass on the special sauce...

Lisa said...

Heheheheheehe...

I clicked on the link.
Jerk.

I love the "order as many as you like"...although, why not make it "as many as you NEED?" haaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Feral Mom said...

You know what they say about big burritos...thaaaaat's right. Big tortillas.