Friday, January 26, 2007

Spam, spam, tasty spam

Every now and then, a spam subject line is so tempting, I can't bring myself to delete the e-mail. To wit:

Subject: Cornhole, Buckminster, Sambo and Hakio Hardturd were getting a little pissed that they were not seeing any game to speak of.

After the obligatory colorful image of a box of text touting a stock, there's the obligatory random sequence of text. Some of it's in Dutch, and for my money, there's no funnier language than Dutch. There's a little serious espaƱol. And then, we are treated to some of the finest English prose ever committed to bandwidth. The English bits, they're like little giggly treasures waiting to be discovered. I reprint the spam here in its entirety, for your edification:

Dit is geen verwijt naar de initiatiefnemers van de beelddatabank, want dit reflecteert uiteraard vooral interesse- en selectietendenzen bij dergelijke collecties in het verleden. zip Mirror528547NoneNone Prsaar-alpha-2.
Eenvoudige, herkenbare, transparante informatie die je op alle produkten terugvindt. Check out Expanded News.
Peterson, MD, Lt Col, USAF, MC; David M. Beeldcultuur in een digitale wereld. Een oranje of rode kleur is een waarschuwing. It has now been confirmed. Ahora es el tiempo para que los proveedores de cuidado de la salud examinen sus conciencias y consideren sus compromisos.
We just happened to forget about that room of ballots.
com vind je een link naar de browser Firefox, het bedrijf Firefox, en een bedankje voor en link naar de nieuwe website van Kevin Karpenske.
Dus, ik ging op onderzoek uit. Check out Expanded News.
And, what about you female boozehounds? Toch: fijne ontdekking.
zip Mirror52689413i386.
The Super-Piss Sponge holds even more urine than our Piss Bladder.
Ahora es el tiempo para que los proveedores de cuidado de la salud examinen sus conciencias y consideren sus compromisos. Authors are routinely instructed by the provider to disclose significant financial relationships and mention of investigational drugs and unapproved indications. Free NewsFree News Headlines, Summaries, Stocks and moreFree Newsletter serviceSend to a friendBranded with your look and feel.
Even when they were loaded, which was basically all the time, except when they were in various jails, they saw no moose whatsoever. Zoals ik hierboven al vermeldde, verse groenten, fruit, mager vlees.
Madsen, MD, MPH, COL, MC-FS, USA; Deborah Omori, MD, MPH, FACP, COL, MC, USA; Karen M.
It supports Windows and Unix-based operating systems.
Urban, MD; Richard A.
They say anything can happen in this land of frozen balls and frigid cakes, and this case just underscores that fact.
Roy, MD, MPH, FACP, LTC, MC; Jamie Waselenko, MD, FACP; Guest Faculty: Ronald E. PresentatieEen aantal mensen vroegen me of ik m'n presentatie beschikbaar kan stellen. Snoep en koekjes: ongezond, uiteraard.

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Now, if you Google those oddball English phrases and the subject line, they'll all take you to the same humor site. But you know what? I think they're funnier out of context.

5 comments:

Mona Buonanotte said...

"Super-Piss Sponge" is strangely intriguing....

Becky..Absent Minded Housewife said...

Suddenly I'm craving a twinkie.

Anonymous said...

Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam
Lovely spam!
wonderful spam!

Spam spam eggs and spam!!!

- No Nym

Mignon said...

This line makes me want to go write a novel: "Even when they were loaded, which was basically all the time, except when they were in various jails, they saw no moose whatsoever." I clicked the link, but I didn't want to go through all the stories to find where it came from. Anyway, like you said, the rest is better left to the imagination.

Feral Mom said...

"And what about you female boozehounds?" Yeah, what about us? I've only been waiting for someone to ask.