Everybody's favorite South African blogger, Tertia, has decided to copy me and write about cyber-crushes. She linked to me and has a zillion readers, so this blog got hundreds of new visitors yesterday. And not one of them left a comment! Either they don't know what Tertia sees in me, or they're just shy. If you're one of those people, don't be shy! (Unless you don't like me, in which case, feel free to remain in your Cave of Reticence.)
The topic got me thinking: I know what sort of women I'm drawn to in Blogtopia. Intelligence, mad writing skillz, a finely honed comic sensibility, liberal politics, a feminist bent, and a pissy attitude are all things that make me think, "Hey, I'd be friends with her in real life." But what sort of men do I like?
Basically, the most crushable men possess the same traits. But if a man shows signs of homophobia, that's a huge turnoff. The men who feel compelled to defend themselves against any hint that they might be gay? The men who wigged out about Brokeback Mountain not because it was, at heart, a chick flick, but because it featured men in love? The men who get a little too aggressive proving their "whoo, I like boobies" straight-man credentials? You can have them all.
I will take the ones who are honestly flattered if they get hit on by a gay man. Who aren't made nervous by the sight of men holding hands. Who take their son to the Pride Parade each June (as Mr. Tangerine does). Who are completely at ease with gayness in all its splendor and ordinariness. (And this doesn't mean they have a fondness for woman-on-woman porn. That's altogether different.) Who teach their children by example that homosexuality is nothing to deride, fear, or get into a tizzy about. Who aren't frightened that metrosexual grooming habits will make them "look gay."
Women who like men and men who like men may prefer different body types (tall, not tall, lean, muscular, dark-haired, blond, yadda yadda yadda) and different personality traits (macho, sensitive, funny, responsible, romantic, etc.). Does anyone else include "lack of homophobia" as a criterion for hotness in straight men, or is it just me?