Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Hey, you're kinda cute online

Between the blog-cosmos and e-mail, you know what happens from time to time? You encounter kindred spirits, people who write things so clever or insightful that they seem to be channeling your own thoughts, if only you could write so eloquently. And thus ensues the delicious phenomenon of the intertubes-based intellectual crush.

Come on, 'fess up—you know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you? The intellectual crush may be someone you'd date in real life if you met them, or someone you wouldn't remotely be attracted to, or someone of a sex other than the one you're interested in (e.g., you're both straight people of the same sex, or you're a straight woman and he's a fabulous gay man).

If you like writing and you like reading, and you encounter the writing of someone brilliant and funny, oooh, that's juicy. I'll bet you can think of a couple people right now who fit your personal category of "brainy dreamboats who make you swoon in at least a hypothetical way." I don't know about you, but I'm apt to fall for people who have a ginormous vocabulary of $10 words and are adept at using these words correctly; wit is also essential. I can forgive the occasional typo, but I could never bring myself to have an online crush on anyone who doesn't write well.

The beauty of the internet crush is that on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog—or a man or a woman, or cute or plain, or sitting around in baggy pajamas. Rather, you can be judged on the merits of your mind. This opens the door to intellectual flirtations freed from the confines of reality. Some of you may remember having a straight girl's crush on another girl. (My most memorable one of these was around age 13, when an older girl who was a YWCA youth-group leader was just perfect—I craved her attention and, oh, how I wanted to be her.) I presume boys, as well as grown men and women, can get smitten with role models, too, aside from sexual orientation—I've witnessed a woman swooning over Tertia (and why not?) and a man swooning over Michael Bérubé (who wouldn't?).

And there are no geographic limitations—you can have internet crushes from thousands of miles away. You may have a particular interest in an abstruse topic that fascinates exactly nobody in your circle of friends and family—but online, you can mingle with a slew of like-minded people…some of whom may be eminently crushworthy because of their brainpower.

Most crushes are like chocolate sauce—your dinner is certainly complete without it, but it lends a sweet and intoxicating touch and enriches the experience in a most delicious manner. Sure, it'd be unhealthy to live on a diet of just chocolate sauce. But isn't it fun to cultivate a few intellect-based crushes, enjoy feeling smitten from time to time, and hone your flirting skills via e-mail and blog comments?

(Cross-posted at Bitch Ph.D.)

11 comments:

Mona Buonanotte said...

I have an intellectual hard-on for many bloggers, and get a little tingly thrill whenever I get a comment from them, or an email, or a shout-out of some sort. It's a bit incestuous, really, us strangers doing the little dance of sex talk and kid talk and whathaveIdonewithmylife gab.

BTW, Orange, I think YOU are pretty damn sexy....

E. said...

Mm hmm...

Tertia said...

I don't have so many starry eyed crushes as much as big flirtations. I have some major flirtations going on with quite a few bloggers / blog readers. (What can I say, I'm a slut) You included, I hope you noticed. If you didn't, then my flirting skills aren't as good online as offline. They are pretty hot offline. Or they used to be before I got so fucking old.

I love flirting. I love clever people. I love flirting with clever people.

I think the internet allows me to be a bit of a cyber lesbian. Because I love flirting with clever women most of all.

Smooch

xx

Orange said...

Tertia, we'll always have the memories of when we danced and danced and the jewels on our Mirena strings sparkled in the sunlight.

Mignon said...

Get a (chat) room!

Orange said...

Mignon, would you like to join us?

Feral Mom said...

Mignon's mine.

Orange said...

Now, now—Mignon's an athlete and I'm sure she has plenty of stamina for everyone. Haven't you seen her legs?

Mignon said...

YOU'RE ALL SICKOS!!!

(Just let me know where and when - I'll bring my shinguards. I may not have much stamina left, but I do have toys.)

Chris Clarke said...

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Orange said...

(Swoon!)