Monday, November 27, 2006

People I would make out with

1. Whoever invented online grocery shopping. I was just sitting here pondering the size of my grocery list and my extreme disinterest in getting out of pajamas and going shopping, and watching Mr. Tangerine fill a trash bag with crap toys nobody needs while simultaneously watching football on TV, and then I remembered Peapod. Just need to pick up some milk at the corner store, and Peapod will schlep everything else I need, first thing tomorrow morning. Love Peapod!

2. Whoever developed the concept of hospice care. Sign me up when I'm old and moribund, because this looks like the way to go. (Speaking of which, Grandma has often been likened to the Energizer Bunny, and is still hanging in there. Maybe a few more days?)

3. Whoever first concocted the Smoking Gun cocktail, with raspberry vodka, lemonade, and soda. Tastes like harmless raspberry ginger ale, but the waitress assured us that it wasn't a weak drink—just a delicious one.

4. Whoever honed the pecan pie concept.

5. Mr. Tangerine, though I'm kinda waiting for him to shave the beard. I miss his face.

12 comments:

Emma Goldman said...

speaking of pecan pie, how did yours turn out?

meno said...

I echo your love of the online grocery thinker-upper. Smooches to whomever.

Mignon said...

The closest thing we get to online grocery shopping is calling the neighbors on their cell phone and asking them to stop at the corner store when you see them driving by. The amount of effort it takes to eat out is appalling. I mean sheesh! Can't I get some eggrolls delivered up in here?? Is that too much to ask?

stacey said...

Oh god, online shopping was my absolute lifesaver when my kid was born. We had no car, it was winter, the nearest grocery store was a 20-minute walk away and we had no money for cab fare. I'd get a coupon from Grocery Gateway for free delivery, and stock up on every kind of canned good, Diet Coke, super-size family packs of toilet paper, everything I'd never be able to schlep home on my own. Meeeemmmreeeeeees, light the corners of my miiiiiiiind..... (our current town of residence does not have such a service!).

Lucky Star said...

Ditto.

Mona Buonanotte said...

Apparently pecan pie was invented by the wife of an executive at the corn syrup factory. She should be given a medal and a big ol' sloppy kiss.

Orange said...

Emma, the pies turned out great. One with and one without chocolate chips. Thanks for the advice to keep the chocolate in bits rather than melted in—I used to like plain pecan pie better than chocolate-pecan pie, but now the chocolate chip version outranks the plain in Orange's Hierarchy of Pie Delectation.

Mignon said...

Heh. I said eat out.

E. said...

Re: #3 I feel similarly about the inventors of both the Cosmopolitan and the Long Island iced tea. I'm pretty grateful to the instigator of the Bloody Mary as well. (And, hey, what a great name for a drink!)

Christine said...

ok so I know this is really random and i dont know wear to put this, I read one of your comments on a little pregnant and i was wondering where you find your bras. I had ONE nursing bra form wacoal, and yes they so freaking suck for discontinuing it. Mine is completely destroyed, and i am pg again. I need at least a DDD and a 34, so I wanted to know where you got your 32DDD. Sorry, I didn't know were else to put this.

Orange said...

Christine, I passed your question along to Bitch Ph.D., who replied:

"I don't know if Fantasie or Lejaby or Miss Mandalay or Freya make nursing bras, but they do all go up over a DDD for the small band sizes. What I did, and at my biggest I swear I was like a 32L, or something, was buy regular bras instead of nursing bras. And the way you nurse wearing the regular bras is you reach inside the neckline of your shirt and slip the strap off your shoulder, then push the cup down, like you were a teenage boy trying to cop a feel but too nervous to actually undress someone. If you wear lowish necked stretchy tops you can even pop the boob out through the neckline and nurse that way, rather than lifting your shirt. I found that easier."

Does that help?

Freudian Slip said...

You have online grocery shopping!!! I'm so jealous, i hate going to the grocery store.
Matt