A week ago, Ben and I lunched on Giordano's Chicago-style stuffed pizza with a friend from out of town. It was such a treat to have another adult around on a weekday, providing cover for ordering a beer with lunch. Drinking alone with a kid just seems wrong, but it's so very civilized to have a drink at mealtime.
Ben, being six, is a teetotaler, so he drank ice water. When he'd finished his water, out of boredom or thirst, he walked over to the restaurant host to ask for more water, please. The host was so charmed, he gave Ben a gift: an Exquisite Car ("All Styles Are Wonderful!") emblazoned with the restaurant's logo. The car's a Smart car (neat!) that blasts loud music (grr!), and it came in a box rich in incomprehensibility (oh, sweet pleasure!). To wit:
"The both sides's car door can successively beat the on and off to shut"
Not clear enough? Maybe an illustration will help:
There are ample safety warnings in languages including broken German (wow! an umlaut on an E!) and Itkflian:
Not to mention a red warning box in English, with 10 lines of text packed within a 0.5x0.75-inch space:
In addition to a "Function Explain" diagram, there was also this clear illustration:
I have yet to witness this "bump up and go" business, and frankly, I'm disappointed. I was hoping to learn how to bump up and go.