Monday, February 04, 2008

An olio

(Olio is crosswordese for miscellany.)
  • That new "low-calorie hydrator" from Gatorade called G2—you want a low-calorie means of rehydrating yourself? It's called W-A-T-E-R. "But Orange, I need those electrolytes, don't I?" Eight ounces of regular Gatorade gives you 37 mg of potassium and 90 mg of sodium. You should consume about 3,500 mg a day of potassium, so a big bottle of Gatorade will provide about 3% of your daily allotment. Orange juice gives you three times as much potassium as Gatorade, ounce for ounce. And skim milk? Eight ounces gives you 407 mg of potassium and 127 mg of sodium. So drink a few ounces of milk and a bunch of water and voila, rehydration with electrolytes! Screw Gatorade and their low-calorie hooha.
  • I wouldn't have been rooting against the New England Patriots if all those Bostonians hadn't been so obnoxious about both the Pats and the Red Sox. They became more arrogant and loud than Yankees fans, and that really took some doing. Undefeated throughout the season and playoffs? Yeah, fine. Blah, blah, blah. You lost the Super Bowl. Now will you people hush next year? Modesty will make your team much more popular.
  • Oh! If your local TV station airs Merv Griffin's Crosswords, my appearance is supposed to air on Wednesday, February 6 (the first episode if your station airs two episodes a day). You can find channels and airtimes here. (Some of the info may be out of date.) Look for a turquoise V-neck sweater and a scintillating intellect.

9 comments:

Becky..Absent Minded Housewife said...

But that's airing right in the middle of Oprah!

Orange said...

Becky, you can skip Oprah on Wednesday. The show is "The Secret Behind 'The Secret.'" The Secret is bullshit! You think all those poor people in the world don't aspire to better? Just envisioning it doesn't make it happen. The Secret can make you rich, all right—if you're the sleaze who wrote it and is siphoning $20 out of the pockets of all those readers.

Becky..Absent Minded Housewife said...

I wonder if Merv Griffin has any secrets....

E. said...

I'm still teaching when the show airs in my "market," but maybe I can get my old man to tape it for me.

Yes, water - a wonderful low-calorie hydrator.

Feral Mom said...

I'll be watching on the left coast.

hayesmary said...

Seriously, Andy? Andy won? There is no justice in the world. After the Patriots' loss and my eight year old being eliminated in an early round of her school spelling bee yesterday, I just don't know if I can go on. Did you get a gift bag?

Narya said...

Woo-hoo! I saw you! though what a peculiar game show that is!

Psycho Kitty said...

Damn Uganda!!!!
And I'm with Hayesmary. Complete travesty.
And it never fails: No one ever looks like I imagine them to look. Hee!
You were marvelous, of course.

Orange said...

I don't know hayesmary, but man, did I love that comment!

PK, I knew UGANDA instantly. I just refused to say it because then I'd have been shunted to the can't-win podium that was impossibly behind. I had advice from savvy people beforehand, who said "Whatever you do, avoid the Podium of Death." So I did.