My pal Flea from One Good Thing is also writing at the Offpsrung parenting site, with a sex-related blog called Lock the Bedroom Doors. In tonight's post, Flea offers sage advice about sex toys. Namely, don't buy those cheap-ass "jelly" vibrators or dildos because that substance releases icky chemicals—and do you want icky chemicals going where your toys go? No. No, you do not.
Flea recommends springing for the more expensive silicone toys. Aren't your orifices and nerve endings worth it? Yes. Yes, they are.
Flea knows whereof she speaks because she runs a sex-toy business called the Honeysuckle Shop. You can shop for toys there, you can buy your toys elsewhere, but wherever you shop, please heed her advice and treat yourself to high-quality merchandise.
Hmm? What's that you say? You haven't got any sex toys and you're not sure you need one? Nonsense! You could always start with the cute sculptural LAYAspot vibe, which scarcely looks risqué at all. Honeysuckle's premium products page includes that turquoise and magenta one plus five other color combos; your friendly neighborhood sex-toy purveyor may have still other colors in stock. In whatever color, it is sure to be efficient. Saves time! Reduces operator fatigue! Cuts risk of carpal tunnel syndrome! It features multiple settings and intensities, much like those Sharper Image massage chairs. But while a chair costs hundreds or thousands of dollars, the LAYAspot's under $50!
The famous Rabbit vibes are on the premium page, too—you may have heard raves about the classic Rabbit Pearl and Rabbit Habit. I believe the Hitachi Magic Wand is the one that was featured on Sex and the City. The premium page also has a zillion toys sold under the Sue Johansen label, and this frightens me—she's the grandmotherly sexpert with a show on the Oxygen channel or something.
Basic rule of thumb for sex-toy shopping: If it costs, say, $40 to $100, it's probably a good one. If it's less than $20, it's probably a scary, chemical-leaching, germ-retaining, material-degrading, mechanically-failing piece of junk, and unless you have some kind of fetish for shoddy craftsmanship and materials, it's not going to be worthwhile in the long run. Buy a good toy and it should last you for years and years.
Don't forget the batteries!