Loretta and I had a blogger meet-up at my friendly neighborhood IHOP today, complete with offpsring. Her little girls are adorable and a ton of fun—very open and outgoing babies, which everyone knows is the best kind. Ben was also a happy-go-lucky baby and toddler (when he wasn't being an absolute hellion) and is a cheerful kid still, so I'm partial to happy babies. Which is not to say that a colicky or shy baby doesn't have its finer points, but you know what I'm getting at. Here are two cool things about Loretta: She has a tie-dyed nursing bra, and she lets her kids eat straight from the table (no wussy sanitary placemats, no antiseptic wipedown).
Anyway, Loretta asked me something that is probably not addressed in the garden-variety parenting handbook: When do you have to stop swearing? Her girls are 12 months old, so poor Loretta probably only has a few more months of good "Fuck it!" and "Holy Mother of Christ!" and "Cocksucking shit!" to go, right? Ben had a speech delay, so Mr. Tangerine and I got a free pass on swearing for at least an extra year, which was handy. (I was so proud when he finally was able to utter, "Fucking shit!" like a pro. And then I had to cut way, way back on the foul mouth.) Given my atypical experience with swearing-in-front-of-the-kid, would those of you who have kids beyond the baby stage share your experience? I'm sure Loretta would appreciate being able to swear just as long as possible, so let's be generous in our advice.
Isn't it lovely that blogs aren't subject to those fucking idiotic FCC obscenity regulations so we can swear like the bitches and assholes we are?